bed.hugs.

some days afternoon runs win out over morning runs. taken out of context that sounds terrible.

today was one of those days. mainly because i didn't have to be at the store until 10, so that meant i could sleep in, which really meant that i could be awake and read my book while my bed gave me hug. GLORIOUS.

normally when i tell myself i am going to afternoon run, it usually means that i am going to come home, collapse on my couch and fall asleep.

i however had a baby diet coke at lunch and was annoying the everliving shit out of myself, so running was really my only option. lesson learned. touche baby diet coke, touche.

out i went in my new compression songs from chateau d'target. i'm not at all positive they do what compression socks are supposed to do, but they do tell which foot to put them on?

you're welcome for that awesome graininess. i am pretty finicky about my socks, but i liked these. so win? $9 for two pairs; hard to beat that in my book.

armed with my new socks and my old watch, i set out. about 6 miles later i was back. mainly because it was dark and atlanta has craters that will eat you whole in the side walk. i felt good, but was weary of going much further because i was close to my house.

crazy how i will run in the wee hours of the morning without a care, but afternoons creep me out. but this was accomplished. my poor old watch is on her last leg...i'm in denial.

again, you're welcome. i also have no idea how to rotate that bad boy. but i do know my phone, computer, and ipad talk to each other, so i know longer have to email pictures to myself to post on here. ahh technology.

i'm typing this while sitting on the floor, "strectching," eating a rather soggy bowl of cereal (with small spoon) because i forgot about it, a side of grapes, and mainly this:

with some more of this:

finally this one because well just because:

yes i tumbl, or however the cool kids say it. again refer back to the last post. i'm not cool. but sometimes i pretend. and i am a sucker for pretty picture collages. especially if i get to create them.

tacccccos.

today marks my second day of what i like to call vacation detox.

waaaaaah...

why is it always easier to get up early on vacation and run, but when you get home it's like a permahangover? the flipside is that the first run back from vacation always feels amazing.

or it really may have just been that it was 66 degrees outside this morning at 715. yes i woke up late and yes i ran. win for me.

yesterday i made myself promise that i was going to eat my meals at home and make them clean. so far so good. i downloaded an app on my new ipadular (still don't know how to work that bad boy) that let's me track what i eat. it will probably last all of a week....BUT it's a start.

after going to the grocery store and coming home with the essentials:

bananas
peanut butter
mushrooms
tofu
tortillas
zucchini
squash

and some not so essentials:

necatarines (never eaten one...)
grapes (they were absolutely essential at the time)
hummus
turkey
bread

yes the not so essentials should probably meander their way into essentials, but such is life. 

i always buy protein bars. and yesterday was no exception. i did however branch out and purchased these bad boys:

they don't have a lot of protein in them, but they taste just like nutragrain bars. delicious.

dinner the past two nights has been tofu tacos. i read the recipe like making process here. (LOVE HER. )

they are super easy, and i made a ton so all i have to do is mix in more veggies and reheat. and the options are endless...

are brushes mandatory to being an adult?

praia and i got back from the beach last night...

i was about as exhausted as someone can be, but couldn't sleep.

i took this morning off from running. i did not take this morning off from brushing my hair.

today was the first day that i brushed my hair in 9 days? 8 days? it was always clean(ish), but i never brushed it.

i am a little crispy, but refreshed. best.week.ever.

my vacation started off with dad and i going to an iron pour. if you are in atlanta, go to elliott street pub and watch the iron pour. go right now, do not wait. absolute blast.

then we set sail for the beach!! (ya know as much sailing as you can do in a ford expedition)

complete with rocket fuel....

so close we can smell it...

finally!

the rest of the week was a blur of: run, swim, breakfast - beer, beer, lunch, beer, beer, dinner, vodka, ice cream, sleep. wake up and repeat.

praia and i ran and swam in the mornings. she is pooped. didn't even move this morning.

if you follow me on instagram you would have seen my pictures. if not, then whatever, get with the program, all the cool kids are doing instagram. or aren't. i'm not sure, i'm not one of them...

here are some more pictures. just to make you jealous. and me sad. everyone loses at this game.

i want to go back. silly work and life.

soul soothing.

i've taken two more days off.

i don't particularly feel bad about it. actually i don't feel bad about it at all.  i need to get things in my life straightened before i can really devote the energy and dedication i know i have back into running.

one of my best friends and best running partner in crime (pic) - HEY COURT! - has been helping me get back to where i know i can be and want to be.

running is tough. it will beat you up as long as you let it. well i want to get back into the fight. i've been perusing some more races because those are my favorite part. hands down.

racing makes everything worth it. not particularly the times that i run, or placing, but the energy. everyone is there because they want to (well almost everyone). they want to prove to themselves they can do it.

i know i can do it. now it's time to get back out there.

the family and i are headed to beach this weekend...well pops and i are. mom is meeting us later in the week. this vacation can't come fast enough.

the ocean realigns everything for me.

i wrote this about the ocean a while ago and i want to share it, even though it terrifies me...

the sea is calling,
the sea is always
calling. the waves,
the sand, the salt,
the sun and the
breeze are waiting
your arrival. don't be
too long for the
soul aches to see
the sunrise hit
the waves and the
sand begin to stir
with the morning
breeze. one's soul
is instantly soothed.
so don't be too long.
but then again it's
always too long
when your soul is
away from the sea.

this is my constant state when i think of the ocean.

here's to doing something that scares you everyday. you can't grow if you don't.

giddyup.

back in the saddle again.

bright and early for some sweaty, sticky running. topped off with a light drizzle of rain.

no watch. no music (not that there ever is).

just me, my brightly colored mizunos and my thoughts.

that's it. simple. ran an old route.

i didn't keep a pace. i tried to stay positive. i can't say i was entirely positive the whole time.

but i did it. i kept my promise to myself. run for me. no one else.

i'll start it over again tomorrow. one day at a time.

that's all i can do. that's the best i can do for now.

forward.

as you all may have noticed (all 3 of you - that's being generous) or you may have not noticed, but i have taken a bit of a hiatus.

i needed a break. a break to figure out everything.

what exactly is everything is neither here nor there. but it meant that everything took a backseat. and i mean everything.

running took a big hit.

i had a vicious head cold and took that as a sign that maybe i should scale back my life and start over.

i've been having a lot of hip problems and lower back problems. so i decided to take a bit off and stretch and strengthen. and honestly those have take a bit of  back seat as well.

with all that being said i am still running the half in october and the full in december.

i want to feel like a real runner. i know i AM a real runner, but i want to FEEL it. i've got the shoes, the shorts, the scars, the medals, even the times to prove to those around me that i am. i know for sure i have the heart, i just need to get my head back in the game and prove it to myself once again.

working three jobs has set me back a bit.

i love them all and am eternally grateful for them, but i am exhausted. i shouldn't complain because people have it much worse than i ever will, but some days it's all i can do to come home and put on pajamas before i fall asleep. i am lucky to eat dinner.

take today for instance. i worked. yesterday was my only day off this week. i came home and immediately fell asleep. i ate three plums for dinner. i'm just not hungry these days. or maybe i am, but nothing seems to satisfy what i want to eat.

i promise going forward from this day, sunday august 5th, i will make a concerted effort to have fun in all things.

i am slowly getting the life fun back on track, but i need to get running back.

i miss it. i do not regret taking a step back. sometimes you need to take a step back.

now is time to go forward.